Guest Blog for World Mental Health Day

by Lynne Wilkins, Cognitive Hypnotherapist & Career Coach

Today is World Mental Health Day, a World Health Organisation initiative to raise awareness about mental health issues. This year the focus is on mental health in the workplace. In recognition of this, I thought I would share a few ideas with you about stress management, an aspect of mental health which is most likely to help PR professionals.

Stress is usually talked about as a negative thing and undoubtedly stress hormones can play havoc with our health. Health & Safety Executive data show that in 2015/16, 37% of work-related cases of ill health were due to stress.

It strikes me though that there is a more useful way of considering stress: it also means emphasis.

For early humans, what needed to be emphasised about stress was taking action in response to threats to physical survival. It was obvious what our biology needed us to do when our ‘fight, flight or freeze’ stress response got triggered, for example when we saw a wild animal or a potential human enemy. Our biology prepared us in a flash in various ways including increasing heartbeat to get more oxygen to our muscles so that we could run away or prepare to defend ourselves, or hold our breath while hiding.

We still get the same stress response today when there is a perceived (real or imaginary) threat. Thankfully, it’s not usually about life or death but more often about social survival (perhaps feeling accepted or our general sense of ‘OK-ness’). The feelings we have, though, are the same and they are still there to get us to do something to protect ourselves.

The different nature of what is being emphasised with stress in the modern world means that it is often less obvious what we need to do and, since it’s often no longer about physical survival, we can choose to ignore our stress with no immediate repercussions (although it is likely to impact negatively on our future health). What we could do is remind ourselves that the feeling of stress is there for a reason and reflect on what is being emphasised so that we can do something useful to help ourselves.

So, the next time you notice feelings of discomfort connected with a fight, flight or freeze response, perhaps you could use one of the following ideas:

Reframe the need

Identifying what we really need when we’re feeling stressed can dig us out of a hole. It’s not something we naturally tend to do and strong emotions are more likely to lead us to blaming the situation or someone else for our feelings – which means we’re not likely to achieve anything constructive. If we can learn to dig underneath the feeling that is alive in us and ask ourselves what it is really about in terms of our underlying need, we can go on to make a healthy request of ourselves or others when we’re calmer, to meet our need. These are the principles of Non Violent Communications (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg. There are many books and online resources about NVC if you want to find out more. I recommend watching one of the excellent YouTube interviews with Marshall Rosenberg, especially if you manage other people. It could totally change your perspective on how to handle difficult relationship situations. Some of the videos are quite long but bear with them, they will repay your viewing.

Reframe the meaning

As the stoic philosopher Epictetus said, people are “disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things”. The human brain is an incredible calculator but not all of its conclusions are helpful, many are based on faulty past learning. Take presenting, for example: when you start to feel those familiar ways in which your body shows nerves – maybe you are sweating, your heart is pounding, or your stomach is churning (often founded in negative feedback as a result of school performance) – can you reframe that as a sign that you are getting ready to do your best?

Reframe the outcome

The more we focus on a potential outcome, the more likely that outcome becomes: if a child walking along the top of a wall is warned about falling off the wall, the child is more likely to focus on that outcome, which then becomes more likely to happen. It would be more helpful to encourage the child to stay on the wall. We can do this with ourselves too, reminding ourselves about what can go right. Since PRs spend a lot of time anticipating reputation challenge, i.e. what could go wrong, also refocusing this inclination on a positive outcome could reduce stress.

Reframe who it is about

Being bullied can seriously erode your sense of self-worth and be the cause of a tremendous amount of stress. Taking attention off yourself and instead getting curious about what may have happened in the past to incite the other person to become a bully can help build your resilience. I’m not saying that you need to like what they are doing or to feel sorry for them, however it does help take some power back. This can give you the strength to move out of a ‘victim dynamic’ and be more creative about what you can do. You may be able to create all sorts of solutions if you can do this, starting by discussing it with someone you trust. I would also highly recommend having a look at Karpman’s drama triangle theory here (again, there are some great YouTube videos on this).

Reframe who needs to be comfortable

A lot of us feel stressed when we think that we are about to be judged by others. This is the point when our nerves usually kick in, for example when we are about to make a presentation or walk into an interview room. If we take the focus off ourselves and own comfort needs and instead focus our attention on making others feel comfortable, it can help calm our nerves. Just as we have brain pathways to keep us safe, we also have pathways which can help us empathise with others.

I hope these ideas help you to think about stress differently and to do something more constructive with it. Ultimately, our brains are meaning machines. We just need to be careful about those meanings emphasised to us in our feelings and to consider how we can make best use of them. Ideally, we will move from protection to growth. There are times when we really do need to fight, flight or freeze but more often than not you can use your creativity to handle stressful situations better. Some people will need professional help with this and one of the best things about advances in mental health awareness is that people are now more willing to talk about what has been bothering them. If you know that you are not dealing well with what has been emphasised to you through stress, progress could start with talking to someone you trust; please don’t suffer in silence.

Our guest blogger is Lynne Wilkins, a former colleague, who now provides support to individuals as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist (www.ienableyou-hypnotherapy.com) and Career Coach (www.ienableyou.com).